Wednesday, August 12, 2009

The Perfect Wedding... NOT! (off topic but funny)

Four year's ago today, my wife Cathy and I were married in a very simple service in my church in Brentwood. I thank God every day for the blessing she has been in my life.

At the wedding, family and a few friends were invited and about 25 folks actually showed which was a lot considering that I sent an email giving notice the day before. It was especially impressive considering the Tennessee Titans were kicking off at 7:00 following our 6:00 mini-ceremony.

The one fatal error that was made before the wedding was allowing Cathy to talk to my cousin, Pam, who wanted to bring flowers for Cathy to hold during the wedding. From past experience, I knew this could get ugly.

From there, my friend Don Redden (aka Uncle Rico - popular at that time as revealed in several Napoleon Dynamite references) covers the event with the following humorous story that was originally posted on an ESPN fantasy football site.

Buddy and Cathy, The Happy Couple...
Posted by: Uncle Rico
8/16/2005 10:38 PM

Then Pam walks in.

Looking sad and miffed, the Wedding of the Year took a turn for the worse when Cousin Pam walked in post-ceremony. Sounding a bit like Nancy Kerrigan following her knee bashing at the hands of Tonya Harding's hired assassins, Cousin Pam showed up bearing flowers crying, "Why!!!, Why!!!, Why!!!" Why?...maybe because she was half an hour late for a wedding that had been planned for mont...hou...days. You see, Cousin Pam was in charge of the arrangement...not arrangements...just the arrangement (singular). Pam was responsible for bringing the flowers. Not planning the wedding. Not planning the reception. Not even planning the rehearsal dinner. She was just in charge of the flowers. And, unfortunately, she was late. 30 minutes late. And some had to get to the Titan's preseason game against the Bucs.

And that's when the trouble started. "But this is your wedding, couldn't you have waited for me? Is the Titan's game more important than me?" Cousin Pam, we did wait. We waited almost 20 minutes for you. Wedding's at six, not 6:30. There was no musician to play "Endless Love" so everyone in the crowd was introduced, a first for this journalist. That took 2 1/2 minutes for Buddy, 15 seconds for Cathy. The pastor told stories about other folks who got married after knowing each other for only 6 mont..wee...days and everyone, including the skeptical, knew this had to be of God.

Then the highlight of the evening, the exchange of vows between Kip and Lawf...Buddy and Cathy took place (3 minutes). Everyone hugged, took photos with cell phones and wished the couple well. What a joyous occasion. But then, the flower girl arrived sliding down the aisle in a puddle of tears...her own. Cousin Pam placed the flowers in the new bride's hand and sat down as this journalist put on his bullet-proof vest. No guns were fired though, and in the end, the couple will live happily ever after...six doors down from the flower girl.

Congratulations to Buddy and Cathy Oakes...the Internet's newest love story sensation.

Needless to say, Pam made quite an entrance well after the service had ended and after the Titans fans were halfway to the stadium. We did wait about 20 minutes after a couple of calls that she was "almost there".

Don was actually gentile in his post on the flowers as they were actually thrown at Cathy prior to any formal introductions. For those who weren't there, you really did have to be there for the full dramatic experience.

For further clarification in the post, we actually met over the internet and did physically meet in person six days before the wedding. Four years later we are still enjoying the faith based ride.

The moral of this story is that no matter how much planning (or lack of planning) goes into a wedding something weird will happen and more than likely it will involve a relative.

My best advice to anyone getting married is to keep the ceremony as simple as possible (and pocket the savings) and be prepared for anything as it will undoubtedly happen.

Buddy Oakes for PredsOnTheGlass


The Acid Queen said...

One of these days, I'll post the whole sordid tale of how my husband and I got married. On Valentine's Day. Because we were broke and unable to read fine print.

Esbee92 said...

Sounds like the perfect wedding to me. Especially the part where cousin Pam missed the whole thing!